Starving Children = Starving Sara

Sara noticed a banner ad of starving children online:

"Look at those staving children eating rice... Mmmnnn Rice, I'm hungry!"


At least she's empathetic?

Sara decided she would hate herself.

Every once in a while Sara comes out of left field with a huge, life ending problem. This particular morning it had to do with meeting herself. The actual conversation went on for almost an hour but here are some of the highlights:

Sara: Josh, I need to know why I wouldn't want to meet myself!

Josh: Why are you even thinking about this?

Sara: Because dice made think this thought and now I'm thinking!

(I go ahead and try to explain some of the basic concepts of Psychology to Sara)

Sara: So you're saying my Id will conflict with my Ego and that's why I think I'm annoying? So do I need to change myself so that I would be ready to meet myself?

Josh: What? No, that isn't even close. Why is this such a big deal?

Sara: Because they are swapping people minds now!

Josh: What? I am so lost...

Sara: You know, with mannequins and stuff. I think this is a deep seeded root problem of mine. I need to fix something, I'm moral conflicted!

Dice: Just for one minute, just for one second I want to live inside your head.

Sara: No you don't because I have a headache right now... WHAT ABOUT TWINS!?!


She went on to talk about the mental bond of twins and cry as she realized her lack of meekness (and her lack of understanding on its definition)... I'm not sure what else happened, she lost me at mannequins.

Sara Is A Racist

Sara is a racist... I guess.

Here's the backstory, in case you didn't hear Josh Holloway from Lost had a baby. He decided to name said baby "Java Kumala Holloway". Sara was laughing about how funny the name was on the air and that apparently offended someone.

This was posted anonymously as a private post on our guestbook:

"I was disappointed and a little offended this morning when Sara was mocking the name Kumala, especially the tone of voice she used. Not all of your listeners are white."

I read Sara the post and her reply was, "I'm not racist, I dated a mexican!"

Problem: Solved.

Also, the baby is white, if that helps her case.

(JAVAAAAA Kumalaaaaaa! it is kind of fun to say... I guess I'm racist too...)

Pregnant Sara On American Idol

On the morning show, Sara brought up American Idol.

Sara: "Last night American Idol broke history by saving Matt Giraud!"

Dice: "Broke History? You mean they made history?.."

Sara: "Whatever, I am so angst against Americal Idol."

Dice: "Angry."

Sara: "Whatever, there is so much of a waste on Americal Idol, the save. They used it to save Matt? What a waste, the whole thing was a waste..."
(Sara continues to rant about things she thinks are "Wastes" on American Idol and becomes vehement about it. I also this is where think Dice gave up trying to get Sara to speak a cohesive version of English.)

My Advice: Beware the pregnant Sara or you too may be laid to "wastes".

Sara on time change.

Dice was talking to Sara about how his kids have been waking up at 5:00am for some reason.


Sara: Maybe they are just getting ready for time change, I'm pretty sure it's sometime soon.

Dice: When is time change?

Sara: I don't know I'm not a parent and I'm not a calendarist!

Sara On Names

Charity: "I'm not sure what my name means"
Sara: "Duh it means 'Giving To The Poor'"

Sara: "What's your middle name?"
John: "I don't ever tell anyone, but I'll give you the same hint I give everyone else. It starts with an M and has four letters."
Sara: "Your middle name is Mary?"
John: "Uhmmnn... No."

A Little Geography

I have found in my marriage that I should rarely ask Sara for directions. She's the kind of girl who gets lost trying to leave the Wal-Mart parking lot... more than once... in the same day. (True story)
During one of Sara's favorite shows "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" a 2nd grade level geography question was "What state does the Niagara falls border?"

The contestant thought for a moment, to which Sara scoffed: "That one's easy! Michigan!"

I mean... well yes, eventually the water that passes over Niagara Falls does pour into the great lakes that border Michigan... partial credit?

Common Mistakes

Sometimes Sara has disillusioned moments where she realizes she's been using the wrong words, here are a couple of my favorites:

"Tomorrow is supposed to be 10 with a windshield of 20 below"


"What!? I always thought it was flame retarded!"


To her credit, the words sound alike...

My Favorite Quotes Part 3

"Lift your veins with me and cheer! Ahoy!"

"A listener just called and told me that I'm too opinionated... I think he's a jerk."

"So this guys spends his whole life playing the lottery and when he finaly wins he dies a couple hours after buying a ticket. The ironicness... you know, that right there is why I don't gamble."

Scott: There's a new service that, for a pretty big price, you can get a celebrity to call your house and leave a message.
Sara: Sweet! I would get Jack Sparrow to call
my house!
Scott: You mean Johnny Depp?
Sara: I mean he would be cool too, but I would pay for Jack Sparrow!

"I accidentally punched myself in the face today."

"What!? I don't want you talking about our parts that way."

"My repetition for retention is horrible."

Camping, Cougars And A Killing Spree

Sara: I HATE NATURE!!
Matt: You hate nature?
Sara: Animals that can eat you, that's what I mean by nature. Don't even get me started on cougars.


(After a rant about cougars):
Scott: Your just lucky you live in Michigan and not some other states where there are poisonous things
Sara: It's all the DNR's fault, they brought in the cougars to control the deer and now they're killing people and dragging their heads into trees
Scott: What? No one's been killed by a cougar...
Sara: That's cuz they're in the trees!


Sara: If you drug a camper/trailer out into the woods I could camp.
Josh: That's not camping, that sleeping in a bedroom outside.
Sara: That sounds nice, I'm not staying in a tent.
Josh: What's wrong with a tent?
Sara: A tent is just a body bag for cougar victims

Sara's thoughts during the New Year

Thoughts shared throughout the New Year season:

Sara: I can't wait till the 2020 so I can say that I lived through the 20s. You know? then people will think like the 1920s instead of 2020, it'll be funny.
Dad: I don't think you're gonna bluff many people


Sara: What would you call the 2010s?
Dice: I don't know... The Ots?
Sara: What!? That doesn't make any sense, what would I say 'I lived in 2008 Ots'?
Dice: No... (composes himself), normally people wouldn't say 'I lived in 1920 the twenties'.


Wow 2008 is almost over. What a rough year... but I won!


After the ball dropped the number 2008 flashed in black and white on the screen for a few seconds, Sara suddenly became wary of her non-existent epilepsy:
"Ack! Look away! What a great way to start the new year, with a seizure. What are they thinking?"


Congratulations.