Pregnant Sara On American Idol

On the morning show, Sara brought up American Idol.

Sara: "Last night American Idol broke history by saving Matt Giraud!"

Dice: "Broke History? You mean they made history?.."

Sara: "Whatever, I am so angst against Americal Idol."

Dice: "Angry."

Sara: "Whatever, there is so much of a waste on Americal Idol, the save. They used it to save Matt? What a waste, the whole thing was a waste..."
(Sara continues to rant about things she thinks are "Wastes" on American Idol and becomes vehement about it. I also this is where think Dice gave up trying to get Sara to speak a cohesive version of English.)

My Advice: Beware the pregnant Sara or you too may be laid to "wastes".

Sara on time change.

Dice was talking to Sara about how his kids have been waking up at 5:00am for some reason.


Sara: Maybe they are just getting ready for time change, I'm pretty sure it's sometime soon.

Dice: When is time change?

Sara: I don't know I'm not a parent and I'm not a calendarist!

Sara On Names

Charity: "I'm not sure what my name means"
Sara: "Duh it means 'Giving To The Poor'"

Sara: "What's your middle name?"
John: "I don't ever tell anyone, but I'll give you the same hint I give everyone else. It starts with an M and has four letters."
Sara: "Your middle name is Mary?"
John: "Uhmmnn... No."

A Little Geography

I have found in my marriage that I should rarely ask Sara for directions. She's the kind of girl who gets lost trying to leave the Wal-Mart parking lot... more than once... in the same day. (True story)
During one of Sara's favorite shows "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" a 2nd grade level geography question was "What state does the Niagara falls border?"

The contestant thought for a moment, to which Sara scoffed: "That one's easy! Michigan!"

I mean... well yes, eventually the water that passes over Niagara Falls does pour into the great lakes that border Michigan... partial credit?

Common Mistakes

Sometimes Sara has disillusioned moments where she realizes she's been using the wrong words, here are a couple of my favorites:

"Tomorrow is supposed to be 10 with a windshield of 20 below"


"What!? I always thought it was flame retarded!"


To her credit, the words sound alike...

My Favorite Quotes Part 3

"Lift your veins with me and cheer! Ahoy!"

"A listener just called and told me that I'm too opinionated... I think he's a jerk."

"So this guys spends his whole life playing the lottery and when he finaly wins he dies a couple hours after buying a ticket. The ironicness... you know, that right there is why I don't gamble."

Scott: There's a new service that, for a pretty big price, you can get a celebrity to call your house and leave a message.
Sara: Sweet! I would get Jack Sparrow to call
my house!
Scott: You mean Johnny Depp?
Sara: I mean he would be cool too, but I would pay for Jack Sparrow!

"I accidentally punched myself in the face today."

"What!? I don't want you talking about our parts that way."

"My repetition for retention is horrible."

Camping, Cougars And A Killing Spree

Sara: I HATE NATURE!!
Matt: You hate nature?
Sara: Animals that can eat you, that's what I mean by nature. Don't even get me started on cougars.


(After a rant about cougars):
Scott: Your just lucky you live in Michigan and not some other states where there are poisonous things
Sara: It's all the DNR's fault, they brought in the cougars to control the deer and now they're killing people and dragging their heads into trees
Scott: What? No one's been killed by a cougar...
Sara: That's cuz they're in the trees!


Sara: If you drug a camper/trailer out into the woods I could camp.
Josh: That's not camping, that sleeping in a bedroom outside.
Sara: That sounds nice, I'm not staying in a tent.
Josh: What's wrong with a tent?
Sara: A tent is just a body bag for cougar victims