"Lift your veins with me and cheer! Ahoy!"
"A listener just called and told me that I'm too opinionated... I think he's a jerk."
"So this guys spends his whole life playing the lottery and when he finaly wins he dies a couple hours after buying a ticket. The ironicness... you know, that right there is why I don't gamble."
Scott: There's a new service that, for a pretty big price, you can get a celebrity to call your house and leave a message.
Sara: Sweet! I would get Jack Sparrow to call
my house!
Scott: You mean Johnny Depp?
Sara: I mean he would be cool too, but I would pay for Jack Sparrow!
"I accidentally punched myself in the face today."
"What!? I don't want you talking about our parts that way."
"My repetition for retention is horrible."
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